I realized I never wrote my good bye letter to my cigarettes.. I'll fit that in on this post.. A few things I need to mention.. Yesterday morning I had a bad reaction to Chantix .. This scares me I had the same reaction to Slo Niacin and had to stop taking it. When the pill starts "releasing" it burns my stomache so bad that I can't take the pain and I litterly double up and cry it hurts so bad. I do not think this is a side effect of Chantix however this is just my stomache not being able to handle the time release no more.
BUT let me say this.. IF I have to stop taking the pills I will be damned if I start smoking again. YES I think about how nice to would be to smoke a cigarette its an old feeling one that I really loved at one time. BUT I must conqure this .. for MYSELF for my CHILDREN for my HUSBAND for my PARENTS.. :)
Let me get on with that good by letter...
Dear Philip Morris the maker of my beloved Marlboro Lights..
You put the Surgeon General's Warning.. On cigarette packages way too late for me.. back in the day when they were 45 Cents and you didn't even have to be 16 to buy them.. Nope that came 2 years later when I was actually 16.. I could still buy them! But it was still my decision your right.. But if I would of know the addiction to nicotine was just like the addiction to herion.. I know I wouldn't have smoked! Being an addict scared the hell out of me! Cigarette addiction is the same as herion... Now you know. Oh yes I have seen your "Special flyers in cigarette packages for people who want to quit smoking" Nice and dandy - Are you also going to help pay for any cost that it might cost for us to stop smoking? "shrug" Probably not!
Oh then there was the "Gear" to get us to smoke more to save those miles! "Koodos that had to stop" And even today you put "special offers to smokers printed on the side of your cigarette pack.. "shivers"...
Well this sums it up to Philip Morris.. now to address my beloved Marlboro Lights.
Dear Marlboro Lights
How dear you use to be to me... you were always there when I was tired, nervous, upset, happy and depressed. How odd when I think back on it.. how could I turn to such a substance to comfort me when I have always had "family and friends" (shrugs).
I have sit and watched you kill people that was close to me.. Remember my grandmother? Who died in her early 60s the woman who meant the world to me.. you took her when I was 17 years old I was only just begining to know the woman she really was.. You devistated me and right at Christmas time.. your so selfish! I seen you take her down with each breath as the days passed by she could hardly get up and walk to the bathroom with out having to use her inhailer.. I hate you! But yet I turned to you.. You reminded me of my grandma I loved your smell it brought back memories of her and you helped me escape to a place I was comfortable. But you know what... I have learned I can have those memories with out you!
I'm 39 years old and I can see the effects you have put on my skin, expecially my face.. I should not look nearly as bad as I do.. but yes thanks to you.. THANK YOU.. *rolls eyes*
I see you aging my sisters... But your not going to age me any more!!!!!
And guess what.. I had all my teeth fixed that you so happily ruined! NO way will you ever return to my lips or my clean air!
I am not your slave no more! I wont come back you can pressure me you can make me think about you .. you can haunt me in my dreams but I will not allow myself to ever fall into your trap again.
You tricked me back 3 other times - not this time -
I have too much to still do in this life time to have to put up with you and your slow and very curel death.
Besides.. you just stink... seriously.. you STINK yes I said it and I am tired of your smell and I am very sick of you stinking up my clothes my house my car my breath my hair my skin ..
Forever away from you
Xo
Babs
LOL well that sums it up I could of probably went on forever but my hands are truely hurting!!
thnx all for taking the time to read this *giggles*
Thanks for all the support you people are great! Bless you!
xoxoox
Babs!
Day #10 and 11 "Good bye Cigarettes"
Friday, November 30, 2007
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3 comments:
Babs, I love the goodbye letter(s). It's such a great way to say goodbye, I think.
I do hope that you'll be able to find a way around the side effects if it is the Chantix - maybe your doctor has some ideas? Like you said, though, you can do this either way as long as you just keep going.
Oh my God Babs...I could so relate to your goodbye letter to cigarettes and Phillip Morris. I too remember buying cigarettes as an underage minor and saving up miles to get camping equiptment. After all, smoking and outdoor activities like race-car driving do go hand in hand. Smoke and be active...yeah right! My Godmother used to tell me that Marlboro should offer a Marlboro oxygen tent and carrier in thier catalogues as opposed to camping tents and sleeping bags. Her statement really made me think for about all of five minutes before I lit up the next smoke. I am glad to be off the stuff. Remember, its a one day at a time kind of process. Good luck.
Peace,
Diva
I'm defently going to talk to my doc Maggie - I dont want to just go off them too soon but i am really hoping this just one month supply will do the trick. I think with me alot of it is mental this time. I really don't want to smoke any more and havent' wanted to for years it was just every time I tried to quit i couldn't take the nicotine with draws and once I did quit for about nine months then alot of bad stuff happen irl and I went back to smoking. My situation is much better this time and I am 99.9% I can do it this time but theres always that.1% of doubt.
I fear failure more than smoking to be honest.
X
Babs
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